Old School
by Onikirimaru
Summary: The Fatal Rufy gang has to do some special training for Capcom vs SNK 2. Rated R for the F word and sexual humor


*Terry Bogard is messing around the gym, trying to get a good view of Mai's butt withouth Andy seeing him*  
  
Mailman: Excuse me Mr Bogard  
Terry: Wha! Wha! Oh, yes, thats me!  
Mailman: Telegram for you, and the other fatal Fury characters  
*Yamazaki, Mai, Joe, and Andy croud around*  
Mai: Whats it say Terry  
Terry: It says that in Capcom vs SNK 2, we have to be even more old school than before or we wont get paid.  
Andy: What are we gonna do?  
Terry: WE arnt going to do anything, your not gonna be in CvS2  
Andy: Doh! How come nobody likes me  
Joe: Maybe if you mooned people...  
Terry: Anyway, we gotta get old school  
  
*the next day*  
Hideo: Ok, take out a peice of paper and write a summary of the poem!  
*the class starts writing, and we go to the 4 desks sitting side by side in the very back*  
Terry: *checks pockets* Damn! Forgot my pencil!  
Yamazaki: Use this. *tosses pencil at Terry's feet*  
Terry: Grr! *smashes pencil*  
Yamazaki: You'll pay for that!   
Mai: Shut up guys Im trying to write  
Joe: Yeah you know she needs total concentration to write a few fake words about a story she never read  
Mai: We are reading a poem!! Not a story!  
Joe: Whatever, whats your phone number Mai?  
Mai:555-9467....why?  
Joe: 9...4...6....7... Got it  
Mai: ?? *blink*   
Joe: *smiles and leans back, exposing his desk top*  
Desktop reads: For a night of wild, passionate, unforgivin, no holds barred, ninja sex: Call Mai Shiranui, who has fake breasts, at 555-9467   
Mai: You idiot!  
Joe: *uproarously laughes*  
  
Hideo: Ok! Now pencils down, and lets begin to anaylze.  
Mai: *raises hand*  
Hideo: Yes mai?  
Mai: Well what i think the poem *gets binged in the head by a ball of paper*  
Mai: Who threw that?  
Yamazaki: Terry  
Terry: What?  
Mai: Terry!?!?!  
Hideo: Well thats very interesting concept, lets anaylze the passage now It read:  
  
Fall Asleep on Train Tracks  
Choo Choo  
Waking up and getting ran over by train  
Ow that hurts.  
My face is broken  
  
Hideo: Now who wants to explain  
Mai: *waves hand furiously*  
Hideo: Anyone? Anyone?  
Mai: *kneels in chair and waves*  
Hideo: *sigh* Mai?  
Mai: Well i think the "train track" symbolisis the anxiety the author has about his mother, the fact that parent try and put you on the right track supports this, and also...  
Yamazaki: Pisstt! Hey Terry!   
Terry: What?   
Yamazaki: Here take a puff of this *passes joint*   
Terry: *jaw drops* We are in the middle of class are you crazy?   
Yamazaki: *nod nod nod*  
Mai: Also, the train symbolizes the Id, no wait, or does the boy symbolize the Id, yes thats it. And also, trains now adays have beds n them, which symbolize dreams that .....  
Joe: zzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzz....*sniff sniff*  
Yamazaki: just blow the smoke into the vents so nobody can see it. Nobody is paying attention to Mai so we are cool   
Terry: Ok man, great   
Joe: Hey guys!! Pass it over here!!!!  
Terry: Dammit Joe shut up!   
Joe: Dont you guys be blazing back here without me!!!!  
Class: *turns and looks into the back*  
Terry:: Shuush! Shuushh!   
Joe: Here, hand it over man your messing up the order!  
Terry: *throws substance in Joe's Eye*  
Joe: Ow it burns it burns! ....I can still hit it though  
Mai: And finally, the tennis shoe symbolizes the need of everyone to feel loved, thank you!  
Hideo: ....... That has got to be the most wrong answer i have ever heard of in my entire life.  
mai: Whhaaatt!  
Joe, Terry, and Yamazaki: Bwwwaaahhaaahaa  
Hideo: Silence!!!! Now, anyone else want to give it a try?  
*the class falls silent*  
Hideo: Anyone? Anyone?  
Joe: *raises hand*  
Hideo: Joe?  
Joe: I think its about a guy that passed out on the train tracks and got ran over.  
Hideo: No! Anyone else?  
Joe: *raises hand*  
Hideo: Joe?  
Joe: I think its about a girl that passed out on the train tracks and got ran over. Oh and her face got broken too.  
Hideo: Still wrong, anyone else?  
Sakura: *raises hand*  
Hideo: Sakura  
Yamzaki: Your wrong  
Sakura: Maybe it symbolizes the trouble of todays teenagers and their suicide rate  
Yamazaki: Thats so wrong  
Sakura: *cries*  
Hideo: WRONG! NEXT!  
Batsu: World War 3?  
Yamazaki: Idiot!  
Hideo: WRONG!  
Kyo: Versus Game Physics  
Yama: Moron!  
Hideo: What do you think about it Yamazaki?  
Yamazaki: It obvious that the author of this story is recently getting over a breakup, i mean, he mentions his face for crying out load. When you get hit by a train, you dont single out your face. He is obviously focusing on it because he thinks he or she is ugly to look at. You guys are just morons for not catching onto that.  
Terry: That is so true  
Hideo: *tears in eyes* That is the most beautyful rendingtion i have ever heard!  
Mai: I give up *closes book*  
Joe: Hey Mai, hit this and it will make sense to you!  
Mai: Get lost loser!  
Joe: Ok, ok, ill call your house later, hahaha!   
  
  
*The Bell rings and Yamazaki, Terry, Joe, and Mai are dismissed from their English Class*  
Terry: Finally man, Im starving  
Yamazaki: Probly have something to do with that dooby we rolled  
Mai: Acuh, dont you guys know that drug humor is totally immature!  
Yama & Terry: Hey, you can always get a laugh with the 15 - 25 age group by talking about drugs  
Joe: Hey guys Im gonna catch up to you  
Terry: Ok later  
*Terry, Yamazaki, and Mai walk down the hall to the lunch room, stopping along the way*  
Mai: Hey guys hang here i gotta put my books up in my locker  
Terry: Books? Whats a book?  
Mai: Text books dumy  
Yama: huh?  
Mai: For our classes, dont tell me you guys dont have Text Books  
Terry: What for?  
Mai: To do work!  
Terry: Nah, to much of a hassle  
*Sakura and Kei walk by*  
Sakura & Kei: Hi Terry! *giggle*  
Terry: *waves*  
Mai: Oh those young girls make me sick, dont they Yamazaki? Eh? Yamazaki?  
Yamazaki: *is reading a Giant Message spraypainted on the wall*  
Message: Mai Shiranui licks ass holes, i have proof  
Yama: I didn't know you where a freak Mai  
Mai: WWWHHHAAAAATTT!?!!? Who wrote that? Grrr!  
Terry: Dont worry about, lets go to lunch  
  
*In the Cafeteria*  
Kei: Hey Mai! Look at me! *is bending over and pointing to his ass*  
Mai: When i get my hands on Joe!  
Terry: Oh come on dont act all innocent!  
Mai: WHat do you mean?  
Terry: We know your rowdy   
*trio gets in line as they talk*  
Mai: Well i have been known to do some rowdy stuff, like for example, (im not wearing any underwear now)  
Joe: *walking up* Hey guys whats going on?  
Mai: Joe! Come here! You got some nerve to...  
Joe: Easy easy, *sniffs air* it will have to weight till after my Fish Sandwich!  
Terry: But we arnt having Fish today  
Kyo: *behind them in line* Your kidding me, i been smelling fish since I got in here  
Batsu: I know, i smelled it down the hall, we have to be having some kinda fish product for it to be smelling that strong  
Yamazaki: *looking at food* Nope its all pork product  
Terry: Impossible, there has to be a fish here somewhere  
Joe: Trout, bass, something  
Kyo: Smells like Tuna  
Joe: Nah I think its Trout  
Terry: I gotta agree with the kid on this one, its Tuna  
Joe: Nah impossible, what do you think Mai  
Mai: *face is beet red* Um I dont smell it at all, eh heh  
Terry: You dont smell that Tuna  
Joe: Terry have do you even know what Tuna smells like, its nothing like this, this smell is full blown MEGA STINKY FISH  
Terry: Well Joe, no, i have not smelled Tuna, and it is indeed Mega Stinky Fish, but the kind is still up in the air  
Joe: Well lets let Yamazaki decide the argument  
Terry: Good idea!  
Joe: Yamazaki!  
Yamazaki: *absent mindly packing a bowl* Yeah Joe  
Joe: What is that smell?  
Yamazaki: *sniff sniff sniff* Hmm.... Pussy  
Mai: Ooops gotta go! *runs off*  
Terry: Wait! I thought you said you where hungry!  
Mai: *is out the cafeteria door*  
*silence in the cafeteria line*  
Kyo: *sniffs shirt* I hope this smell doesn't stick to my clothes  
  
*Terry Yamazaki, and Joe are still in line*  
  
Joe: FFFFfuuucck this line is taking forever!  
Terry: Look! Its the Flying Boss!  
*geese howard flys up in a pig suit*  
Geese: Wow, what a line up! But hey! Look at me!  
Joe: Allright! Woo hoo!  
Geese: *starts to fly around* Yay!  
Yamazaki: Flying Boss rules!  
Geese: Hey hey hey!!  
Joe: We love you Flying Boss!  
Geese: Whhoooeee! *does flip*  
Line: *claps*  
Joe: Flying Boss! Look out for that window!!  
Geese: Huh? Oh no!! *crashes through window*  
Terry: Flying Boss! No! *falls to the pavement*  
Joe: Oh well, too bad, hey lets eat.  
  
*meanwhile*  
Sakura: *runs out of girls bathroom gagging, inside we hear the sound resembling sandpaper being rubbed acroos something*  
Sakura: Blech!!  
Mai: *walks out of bathroom* La la la  
  
*Mai enters the cafeteria and sits at the table of The Fatal Fury team*  
Joe: Heya Mai, where you go so fast for, and why do you smell like soap?  
Mai: I forgot to close my locker  
Yamazaki: ok.....so why do you smell like soap and why is your crotch all lathery  
Mai: None of your buisiness  
Joe: Damn it is kinda latery  
Mai: Stop looking! This is the only kinda dress i have  
Yamazaki: what about the one in your intros  
Mai: Your acting so immature  
Joe: You might want to rinse off our something so you dont get another rash  
Mai: ANOTHER RASH!?!?!?   
Joe: Yeah  
Mai: Oh yeah, i forgot about you!!! Your spreading rumors!!!  
Joe: About what!  
Mai: Me licking ass holes! You got some nerve mister! You shouldnt spread lies like that  
Joe: Its not a lie  
Mai: Oh please! You think anyone will think its fact  
Joe: DOnt matter its still the truth  
Mai: Its a big fat lie  
Terry: No it isn't Andy is always telling us how you lick his ass hole during sex  
Mai: WhY I ...meep? He tells you?  
Joe: Yeah, duh, how do you think i knew you lick ass holes?  
Mai: *face turns a deep shade of red*  
Bell: ring ring  
Terry: Whoops time to go back to class  
Mai: Grrr when i get my hands on that man of mine, I'll, I'll  
Joe: What? Wait for him to fall asleep so you can lick his ass?  
Mai: Shuttap you! BONK  
Joe: Ow! What class is next?  
Yamazaki: Foreign Language  
Joe: Ok, Ill catch up in a sec, got to speak to a guy first  
  
*Joe walks over to the corner*  
Joe: Hey ATProof, whats up  
ATProof: Nothing man, can i help you  
Joe: You sure can *wink wink*  
ATProof: Why, you going to the beach this summer? *wink wink*  
Joe: Only if the seagulls take pictures  
ATProof: I see oni told you the password, what do you need  
Joe: I need some pics man  
ATProof: Whats your flavor?  
Joe: King, Mai, and that one armed chick from GGX, preferably in bed together  
ATProof: Hmmm, that'll cost ya  
Joe: Ok man, here *hands a dollar*  
ATProof: Whats this?  
Joe: A dollar  
ATProof: *laughes* Gonna have to do better than that, unless you want my dollar special  
Joe: Whats that?  
ATProof: Screen shots of game characters in positions that show their panties  
Joe: Ok, whats your 2 dollar special  
ATProof: Lora Croft  
Joe: ICK!! Pointy tits! Ok what about 2.50?  
ATProof: Bea Arthur  
Joe: I'll throw in a stick of gum!  
ATProof: Oni Hentai drawings  
Joe: 2.50, a stick of gun, and the Kickboxing champion chip belt  
ATProof: Now we are talking!!  
  
(last scene had some personal effects to it, is a inside joke) 


End file.
